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Goataly Unimpressed

Crystal, one of the Museum’s two goats was not impressed by a recent blog about goat walking and had other issues she wanted to air.

Goat walking at COAM

“I was not amused by the recent blog about goat walking. It does not exactly put me in a good light and completely misinterprets the purpose of the walk. This and a number of other issues need to be brought to attention of my visiting fans to put the record straight. I feel that I need to personally report these facts as my friend Beverly, who is older than me and not so pretty, is too nice and does not want to upset the Farm Manager Conway.

Let’s firstly put the record straight on walking. We are not taken for a walk; we take the staff and volunteers for a walk. We appreciate how they like to have a look around the Museum site to check out that everything is hunk-dory each morning, so we are happy to go along and escort them. We only allow them to put dog collars on us as it makes them feel like they are walking their dogs.

What is very annoying is that they like to stop and stare into space. So we entertain ourselves by helping to keep the vegetation under control whilst we wait for them to come around. But to allude to us having a second breakfast – what an insult. We are not greedy goats!

And then sometimes we see some vegetation that needs pruning or hay that needs tidying up, but they get annoyed and try and drag us somewhere else. This is when I sometimes have to remind them to behave by giving them a gentle nudge with my horns. And then they get annoyed with me. You would have thought one volunteer had been shot by the way he hoped around just after I touched him. He’d been watching too much football if you ask me!

Sometimes we walk past the sheep. I like to put me head through the fence to give them a cheery good morning. And what happened the other day? A grumpy sheep nipped me on the nose! If she was not pregnant I would have given her a reprimand with my horns. Maybe she is grumpy because she is pregnant.

kid goats at COAM

With lambing in the next month, I guess the Farm Manager Conway will have to move us back from our temporary home, the isolated lambing fold, to our proper home. I mean, would you like to live in a maternity wing! I am not sure why he insists on punishing us by keeping us there at night. We just want to go back to Hill Farm Barn so we can keep an eye on comings and goings and make sure no undesirable characters are around the farm (volunteers excluded).

The only reason we got evicted from our home was because of those stupid film people who did not like us. I mean, they would not give us parts in the drama. What can I say if the critics don’t like it? Goats always add something special to a production, particularly if we can chase the baddies! We always get them. But they would not even let us stay around as extras. Their loss!

Another concern? Why do they shut the Museum during the winter? They say it’s because our fans won’t visit and the staff and volunteers have maintenance to do. Maybe that is why they hide us away so they can sit around drinking tea all-day! People want to come and see us all year round. Do you really think they come to see those old buildings when they can see nice new ones for free where they live.

Anyway, when they finally let you back into the Museum in April to see us, don’t forget we do like a chin rub. You can find us in a field somewhere mowing the grass. We would maintain the hedges as well, but they insist on putting an electric fence around the field to keep our fans out. Don’t forget, I’m the pretty one and Beverly will probably be daydreaming!”

Museum Goat